Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Can’t go back


You saw her

somehow,

and I’m not sure why.

A slip of a pronoun

and she’s brought to the front

aware and open,

there’s no hiding it now.

This stomach clenching love disarms me

throws me off guard,

frightens.

You make me want to rock

to cry,

scream,

throw up

I don’t know how to handle you here.


How did you see her

why did you ask?

This room scares me

with it’s big open spaces and grey corners,

how did you get in here?


Little s, big S,

there’s so much more.

These secrets are hers, she’ll tell if she wants,

but right now I am unsure.

How did you know to ask

how could you get past these defenses?

This stomach clenching love scares me

throws me off balance,

topples.

These queries send me running

to a safety,

a hiding place,

a song.

I need its comfort to handle you here.


How did you see her

why did you ask?

This room is so big

with its wide open spaces,

how?

how?

how did you get in here??

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